Communication is key in every relationship whether it is verbal or non-verbal. However, we want to bring attention to yet another form of communicating which is done through your energy. Your energy has a voice, except this voice speaks on your behalf regardless of whether or not you are talking or moving. Have you ever said to yourself, “What’s wrong with my spouse? I didn’t even say anything.” This happens because although words did not come out of your mouth, your energy was speaking for you. When we say your energy, we are referring to your mental and emotional energy.
Your mental energy is the motivation, mood or need driven by the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal.
Your emotional energy is neutral. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction that makes a specific emotion positive or negative.
In other words, your mental thoughts and emotions turn into an energy that can be felt by another person. This energy whether positive or negative will speak for you in any room, car, restaurant, church, movie theater, park, etc. Do you get where this is going? Your invisible mental and emotional energy will speak on your behalf regardless of your location. We are asking you to become more aware and connected to your inner person, so that you can have a better understanding of everything that is being heard by your spouse.
Many arguments or big blow-ups can be avoided if each person in the relationship will hold themselves accountable to asking themselves these few questions first:
• What is my mood right now? What am I doing to be in a positive mood?
• What types of feelings am I experiencing right now?
• What thoughts caused me to feel this way?
• What can I do to encourage an effective conversation?
The key is to be honest with yourself, listen to your inner voice and remember to get peace, clarity and understanding with yourself first. You control your emotional and mental energy as the scripture states in Philippians 4:8 NLT, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
One last tip that we use, especially when we may feel a certain way or may need to have a potentially heated conversation with one another; we think about all the good things that we have done for one another and all the ways that we have shown one another love. This puts us in a good mental space so that our thoughts and emotions are good. Now when we start the conversation, our mental and emotional energy is positive, we are committed to focusing on the positive, our conversation is good, and our communication is respectful.
Remember, your spouse feels your energy before hearing your words.
Coaches Martez & Woodrina