What My Wife’s Affair Taught Me

I know that most people would say that an affair is the worst sin that a spouse could commit. I remember growing up as a child this is what I heard from my mother. The reason that she decided to leave my father was because he had cheated. So, all of my childhood and teenage years I looked at cheating as the family destroyer. All I knew was that my father was not a part of my life because of his affair with another woman. You would think after all of that hurt of growing up without a father, there would be no way that I would cheat on my wife. Actually, it was the exact opposite, after everything my mother had experienced with my father I had the audacity to cheat on my wife. I hid the affair for 13 years, but low and behold the seed that I had sown produced fruit in my marriage. Thirteen years after my affair, my wife had an affair. This is where the spirit of the Lord gave me the new definition of an affair.

The Lord spoke to me and said that you are going to have to forgive your wife. Then as a loving father, He said to me, “this will be the greatest test of love in your marriage”. One of the first things I want to make clear is that if you are not married to your soul mate or destiny partner please disregard this new definition of an affair. This definition only applies to those who know and believe in their heart that they are married to or in love with their soul mate or destiny partner. When I heard this definition for the first time, I thought to myself a test. How could this be a test? I considered what the divorce rate is across the country and I realized that means that a lot of people are failing this test.

I do not desire for every couple to have to pass this test, because there are ways to prevent from having to take this test. But it is very important to know that if you are faced with infidelity in your marriage, try to understand that it is only a test. When you are in school regardless of the level of education you are studying, tests are given to see if you understand the content of what was taught to you during class. Marriage is a life class of learning. I have been married for over 18 years and have been with my wife for over 20 years. We have been in Marriage College since October 1989. My wife’s affair did not come to destroy our marriage, it happened for us to evaluate our love for one another.

What my wife’s affair blessed our marriage because it caused me to search within myself to find out if I could truly forgive my wife and show her God’s love. The reason that an affair is the greatest test of love in your relationship is because to forgive is one of the most powerful ways of showing love in action. There is a saying that says, “Love is what love does”. Many people say I love you with my whole heart and nothing could change that. Well, words are good, but deeds are better. Forgiveness has depth and shows maturity. When you are faced with surviving infidelity it will take a depth of forgiveness that only soul mates or destiny partners are willing to embrace.

The affair will test your commitment and covenant promise. When you look at an affair through the lens of testing, you understand passing the test only sets you up for a love promotion. Not only will your love with your spouse become more fulfilling, but God’s love in your life will be so much richer. There is a grace and a peace that comes with forgiveness. A teacher never gives a test to fail a student. The teacher desires to see the student excel. This is the same with your heavenly Father, He desires for marriages destined to succeed to succeed. An affair does not have to destroy you, your marriage or the future dreams of your family. However, the affair is the greatest test of love in your relationship

 

 

 

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